Real Talk

I am not posting any of this to fish for compliments or to ask anyone to set me straight. This is simply an honest vent of my feelings in this process.

As you have read in most of my posts, I feel mostly very positive, but some days, I feel very different from my pre-diagnosis self.

I do not feel as attractive.

I worry that I might be a bit boring.

I feel less independent.

I really miss being able to sing (even if it’s just in the shower).

I miss being able to drive.

I hate being so dependent on anti-seizure meds. What if I’m stuck on a deserted island?!

I am sad that my family has to worry so much about me.

I’m not scared but I don’t want my loved ones to worry about me.

I hate replaying conversations after I’ve had them, worrying that I didn’t fully hear the other person and let them finish all that they wanted to say.

I want to be just as good at my job as I was before.

Again, please don’t dispute all of these, Mom. I know that you love me and think I’m doing great.

I’ll be going over all of this with my therapist on Thursday. Just a quick vent for those of you who think I’m a ray of sunshine. I have my days, too.

I do appreciate all of you who take the time to read my ramblings. Each of you is very much appreciated!