Are you proud of your day?

"We overwork and underlive."

- Tom Tamashiro

At the start of the new year, we are inundated with self-help ideas and resolution guidance. Anything to make this year better than the last. And, honestly, I love it. I'm interested to hear about people who are, if even for a month, trying to adopt a growth mindset. I want to hear about their fitness plans and goals, or what's the latest book that will change your life. I'm here for it. I tend not to come out of the gate too strong on my own resolutions and plans. Brad is the opposite, he's always tracking something or setting a new goal for himself. I really admire that about him. And, it also drives me nuts at times (full transparency is why we are here). I'm getting ready to land the plane on my point here... I like to listen to all of the new year growth stuff that's swirling about me and pluck out what really resonates with me or feels authentic. And when I was on a rowing workout with Apple fitness yesterday morning, the instructor said something about having a day that you were proud of.

Isn't that a cool concept? Because in today's world no one seems like they are quite doing enough. There is always something more to accomplish at work, always the list of chores at home, more books to be read, more money to make/save. But if you can end each day proud of what you did? That would be pretty cool. So, I guess my goal is to be proud of my efforts.

Loss of Kate Lax

I am so sad to share that the world lost a very bright light in Kate Lax, a few weeks ago.

Kate and I have been #brainbuddies for the past couple of years – both former fundraisers for MSU, Kate and Katie, both diagnosed with brain tumors (different diagnosis). Kate had 2 craniotomies early on, of which I luckily didn’t require. But, as we both endured a year of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation, Kate, me, and Maria (our 3rd #brain buddy) texted very often. It was helpful to have friends to talk through things with – we compared side effects, discussed our feelings, how our partners were coping, therapy, etc. Kate was a few months ahead of me in her process and always fearlessly cleared the path ahead for me. I’ve been “feeling the feels” and reading back through some of our early texts when we discovered our renewed connection. She said, “it has been such a crazy world already to know another person walking this path—it won’t be the same and who knows where it will lead either of us but already it has been incredible to have a person in living the unknown.”

Kate always had positive sentiments to share, and she often said things like, “One day, sometimes one minute at a time! We are fierce and we have amazing people in both of our lives supporting us—and inspiring us to face these circumstances head on and conquer our fears!” We would often exchange positive quotes or little messages of support.

Kate’s whole focus during the past couple of years was to try to stay as present as possible to enjoy the time she had left with Dave and Ev. Kate was an awesomely special human being, and I know that I’m not alone in feeling honored to have known her.

When she got the news this summer that her scans were not going well, and that her team was moving toward looking at trials, she texted Maria and me about her options going forward and she said “hug your partner close and tell them you love them a lot. That is all that matters.”

What I learned from Kate about Mindfulness/Staying in the Moment

I often pull from my Kate arsenal when facing something uncomfortable. Sunday Scaries? What is the very next thing in front of me? Dinner and a walk with Brad - enjoy it and don't think about what you're dreading the next day. Coffee and reading in the morning is the best part of the day, so don't get ahead of yourself - live in that. Whatever it is that is just in front of me. When we are going through our days, weeks and months - everything just flies by, and it's so tough to slow it down. And, we can control very little. I know these aren't earth-shattering concepts. But since Kate died, it's all a little clearer. Kate's last year of life was absolutely dedicated to slowing things down to spend time with her family. I admire that so much.

Why Was I Born - Ikigai

This is a rhetorical question, but I was listening to a great podcast and was introduced to the Japanese concept of Ikigai (pronounced eek-kee-gahy). It's the Japanese reason for being.

In this podcast, the guest, Tim Tamashiro said that we, "We overwork and underlive."

Apparently, the way to start understanding your Ikigai is to answer the question:

What do you love to do?

I had a great coffee date with a friend last week, and we connected on the fact that we are both seeking growth in several ways. She has been on a path of growth for a while, and she's sparked my interest in learning more about both manifesting and affirmations (we already know that I love meditation). I'm sure this post is getting a little woo woo for a lot of you. But I think that part of my survivorship is figuring out how this has changed me and how I can potentially make the best of my remaining time here.

Health

My next MRI is in mid-March. I seem to be managing my energy pretty well and am feeling pretty good, overall.