Christmas came early...Chemo is finished!!!

As of last night, I have officially finished my last round of chemotherapy! If I receive nothing else for Christmas, this is gift enough! I don't think that I have fully processed that I no longer have this dark cloud hanging over me each month.

From here on out, I should start feeling less tired and cloudy with each day, as the poison clears from my system.

I think when I initially heard the year of chemo, I didn't think it sounded too long for some reason. But it was LONG and I'm so glad to be finished. Maybe it's one of those things like procrastinating. You know how you think you are a "good" procrastinator until you get the procrastinated upon thing done and then you feel totally relieved?! Well, I wasn't procrastinating on anything, but I feel totally relieved!

As mentioned in the previous post, I will still be getting Avastin infusions every 3 weeks for the foreseeable future, which is fine as it doesn't seem to come with many side effects. And, I will be getting brain MRIs every 2-3 months to make sure there are no changes or growth in my tumor.

I feel like it's also done for my loved ones in my circle too. For Brad who has hung out with me while I have a fraction of my former energy, did all of our housework and gently forced me to eat food, and kept all my med timing on track. Done for my parents, sister, and friends who worry and ask about me every month. I'm so grateful to have such strong, loving support around me. I absolutely realize the privilege to have so many people around me who care, check in on me, offer to help, and generally pray for and think about me. Any of you who are reading this are also in my support group. So, thank you, too.

Going Forward

I also know that everyone wants to hear that everything's fine now and just the way it was before. But that isn't exactly so either. The shitty part of the treatment is done. I have my thin hair spots from radiation and the days of my head being clamped under that mesh helmet are long gone as are the wrecking ball pills, but some of the anxiety of what's next and what's happening up there remains present. But that's how it will be now. Mostly and what I can help of my thoughts, I/we are choosing not to live in fear.

How to Celebrate...

Several people have asked how we plan to celebrate. Luckily, this falls during our favorite time of year! This weekend, we are flying to Wichita to visit my stepdaughter, Mia, and her boyfriend, Matt, to celebrate a belated Thanksgiving. Then, we'll all be in Ohio for Christmas. And to top it all off, we will be reviving our joint birthday party at the end of January (which we've had a hiatus from for 3 years). Still hammering out the details, but somewhere with games (pin bowling or indoor put put), good food, CAKE, and drinks for those interested. After all, it's my 40th and Brad's 45th!

I love this gif and send it to nearly everyone for their birthday, I would absolutely be her friend.