Lessons Learned (and Learning)

Venting vs. Problem solving

Brad and I have had a couple of conversations recently about needing to vent versus going to someone for problem solving or positive solutions. I think we are both prone to jump in for each other and others with a positive outlook or a solution, but sometimes you just need to vent. So, it's important, especially when dealing with this type of experience, to have either different people to go to for those differt outcomes, or if you need to vent, preface the conversation with, "I'm coming to you because I need to vent for a few moments."

Slowing Down

Okay, this one is a lesson I'm trying to learn. As my parents can attest, "slow down" has been a refrain from those around me since childhood. Slamming drawers, tripping over things, not fully thinking through my next move to act on the immediate thought - my activator in full swing. But life is to be enjoyed and the only way we can really do that is to slow down and enjoy the moment. I'm working on it. I am definitely aware that I'm mentally moving on to the next activity before the current one is over. I welcome any thoughts on how to stop doing that. My therapist says that self-awareness is a good first step.

6+ Month Check-In on My Personal Mission Statement:

I'm Katie McMurray and I will strive to stay rooted in my strengths while investing in the talent and growth of those around me. I appreciate this one body that I have been given, and will make time to workout and fuel it with foods that reduce inflammation and promote health and longevity. I will do my best to promote kindness and joy. I plan to strive to stay as present/mindful as possible.

Talking to yourself like a friend

Something I'm trying to work on this year is speaking to myself like I would a friend. Especially, as Im easing back into working - trying to give myself some grace and understanding with my healing brain.

Progress

I am definitely tying to stay rooted in my strengths (I have slowly been working on a post about utilizing your strengths during challenging times... stay tuned!), even when they make my life more difficult - see above (activator issues). Body appreciation - this is a work in progress, as we have still not been eating meat and mostly cut out dairy and are not drinking alcohol. The toughest part of our healthier diet is cutting out sugar, to be honest - alcohol and meat, no problem. That damn sugar really is like a drug. I keep to my workout schedule, except during my chemo weeks.

As I've said before, I'm still working on staying as present as possible. If I'm being very honest, I think giving myself grace and talking to myself like a friend is getting easier, as I feel a bit more like myself and am rebuilding social confidence. Therefore, I'm not sure if I'm really doing the work on that one or if my body is.

Health Update

My neurologist is really happy with my medication adjustments and hopes I can start driving by October. It also will mostly depend on my comfort level.

New side effect: I've recently been experiencing quite a bit of muscle soreness and joint pain. I'm hoping it's a side effect of one of the many meds I'm on, but I have to confer with one of my 4-6 doctors on this.

Since I've been on the other side of a minor outpatient surgery that I had a few weeks ago, my oncologist is setting up my Avastin treatments again, starting last Thursday. You may remember that Avastin was suggested by the team at Duke, to help address the swelling around my tumor. I have another MRI on this Thursday, August 19th.

Lost Art of Letter Writing

We received the most special gift in the mail recently from my Great Uncle Eugene - a 4 paged, handwritten letter. We laughed, Brad cried and it reminded me of the special letters I had received from my grandmothers when I was in college. I so wish I had held onto them but I think that I took photos of them, when paring down in one of my moves. The mostly told me of their day to day activities and asked me about mine. I sure hope that I took the time to write them back. I see the importance now as I age and am beating myself up when thinking back on my likely "too busy" 18-22 year old idiocy.

While we are a society firmly intrenched in the immediacy of text and emails, there is something so special of your thoughts and feelings being captured in writing from that time and slowly making its way from Arizona to North Carolina. We look forward to returning a letter with our thoughts and happenings. Though we likely can't match his humor and stories of personal history dating decades back. His memory is remarkable at 85 and 8 months (as he says), or knowing him - his embellishment of these stories, including a 7 1/2 pound small mouth bass. But the time and thoughtfulness is appreciated nonetheless.

Somewhat recent photo of my Dad and Uncle Eugene.

My DZ Sisters

My sorority (Delta Zeta) big sister, Jen, and her husband, Mike, came down to Charlotte this past weekend to visit us. Jen has been my friend for 20 years. I was so touched that they spent one of their precious weekends (4 kids between them) driving down from Columbus, OH to see us.

Until Next Time, My Friends

Stay safe out there, get vaccinated & mask up, stay as present as possible, hug your loved ones, eat healthy food, take good care of the planet, be kind to yourself and those around you, set healthy boundaries, and talk to yourself like a friend. Thanks for reading, and come back again if you have the time.