Toxic Positivity?

I wasn't aware of toxic positivity or what the term meant until I did some google searches (this was, by no means, "research" - I did not consult experts or look at peer reviewed articles on the term, which is what part of what research entails. Google searches or information from Facebook is not research.) After following many cancer patient sites and speaking with other cancer patients and read and heard mention of toxic positivity and worried that my positive attitude may be put in this category.

Medical News Today defines Toxic Positivity as, "an obsession with positive thinking. It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are profoundly tragic."

I also worried about this when my mother told me about her uncle's dog passing away and his profound sadness, my reaction was, "how can we cheer him up?" But after having read some Buddhist texts over the past year, I have come to understand that sometimes we have to sit with our grief and suffering to better understand ourselves and life. It's not always about, nor should we be, diverting ourselves from sadness, grief, loneliness, loss, discomfort and pain.But this is often what we seek to do, by distractions of food, alcohol, drugs, sleep, TV, etc.

Ultimately, I'm not sure that my positivity falls into a toxic category. When it comes to others, I certainly want to be supportive, which can sometimes fall into positivity but I, truthfully, may fall more into toxic gratitude, if there is such a thing. When someone complains that they don't have enough time to work out, I may say or think something like, you are so lucky to have a body that is able to move. Or when I'm critical of my brain not working as quickly as I would like or like it used to, I think - at least the rest of my brain works well, and I'm able to speak and communicate without assistance.

I believe that I strive to live an asset-based life, which I can thank Brad for opening my eyes to a few years ago. He introduced me to Appreciative Inquiry, which I was lucky enough to study at Penn State. I would ultimately "rather be positive and wrong than negative and right." (said by Elon Musk?).

So, conveniently, as I'd hoped, I may not be guilty of toxic positivity after all, but I am conscious of it and hopefully let people sit where they are in their own feelings. I suppose positivity is like sadness, you should respect where people are in their process - letting them sit with and respect their process. But also making sure that they know that you are there for support when needed.